In common (apparently) with a surprising number of people, I have been suffering from a long bout of ill-health – something unusual for me during the summer – and am currently in the ‘re-’ stage:
I should mention here that this doesn’t happen after every illness, and some people may never experience the phenomenon. It tends affect those recovering from an affliction that has lasted longer than a week or two, and is likely to have a stronger influence depending on how long the illness has persisted and how quick recovery is.
This is the point in an illness where you’re feeling well enough to think (and about something other than how awful you feel) yet you aren’t well enough to do many/any of your usual activities. You’re constantly (re)adjusting and re-evaluating what you can manage to do, possibly on a day-to-day basis, and unable to go about your routine while enduring enforced bed-rest, you can’t help but think.
These thoughts are likely to be about what you haven’t been able to do recently, what you want to do when you get better, and about returning to how things were. As well as wondering if any of that’s possible, and how long it’s going to take.
It’s also about (re)discovering all over again – or possibly for the first time – how amazing it is simply to be able to get up, get dressed, and have breakfast without struggling, without becoming exhausted. It’s getting depressed because you can’t do things that normally you’d be able to without thought, but then reminding yourself that a week ago you weren’t even able to get up.
It’s deciding – having – to look for positives and reminding yourself of them over and over again.
It’s taking baby steps.
It’s not making any big decisions or plans because you don’t know how you’ll be feeling.
Having said that, this can also be an opportunity: it can clarify uncertainties, and offer the chance for change, because now you’ve been forced out of your routine, is there anything you might want to do differently, take a chance on?
So now I’m looking forward to progressing through ‘re-‘ and beyond, recovering, rediscovering things often taken for granted, maybe making a few changes along the way. Speaking of, maybe a little (re)adjustment or (re)design would be the thing to rejuvenate my enthusiasm for blogging?
Feeling cautiously hopeful.
P.S. Apologies for all the ‘re-‘s but as I said, I’m still in that stage.